Welcome to Zack and Christopher Take a Bite Out of the Financial District so That When People Come to MUH-TAY-ZIK | HOF-FER They Will be Able to Find Something to Eat or Drink (ZaCTaBOotFDsTWPCtMHTWbAtFStEoD for short). We hope that the agency sending us out for our meals will help you find what you are looking for in this life, or at least for lunch.
Where: Blue Bottle Coffee, 115 Sansome St
Category: Coffee & sweet treats
We ordered: Belgian waffle, affogato
Looking for an afternoon delight,
We ventured forth to find a bite.
Down at the corner of Sansome and Bush
A coffee parlor, inside we did whoosh.
With name of Blue Bottle, and line of long,
We waited with patience amongst a thirsted throng.
Perusing the menu, we ordered with care,
One waffle please, and an ice cream with espresso for hair.
We paid the barista and moved down the queue,
Watching intently, and waiting to chew.
With waffle uncooked and espresso unpulled,
We waited and wafted aromas quite bold.
“Christopher!” She called, holding the waffley snack.
And then, with the ice cream, she called upon Zack.
Collecting our bounty, we stepped out of line,
We nibbled and slurped our sweet treats, so divine.
The waffle so fluffy, ironed to golden perfection,
We could hardly contain our confection affection.
The affogato so sweet, a nectar fit for the gods,
Each caffeinated bite sent shivers down our quads.
So now, dear listener, we leave you with this,
Blue Bottle Coffee is nothing short of sweet bliss.
Where: Foundation Cafe, 335 Kearny St
Category: Healthy lunch
We ordered: “Goin’ Back to Cali” sandwich, “Strawberry Fields” salad
There’s a new dawn upon us, and its name is hunger. The stars, moon, and sun have aligned signifying lunch time. And thus, we feed.
But your body is a temple and you must adorn it with nothing but the finest, farm fresh meats and leaves offered to the Financial District. So center your chakra and head to Foundation Cafe on Kearny Street.
Upon entering you will certainly notice the aura smells like lunch — a swirling concoction of organic chicken breast, homemade salad dressing, and Four Barrel Coffee.
Listen to your heart for there is no wrong path your mouth can walk down. But if your third eye hasn’t been to the optometrist recently, the chewing goddess recommends the Goin’ Back to Cali sandwich, a half tortoise position of grilled chicken, smoked bacon, California avocado, arugula, on a whole wheat roll. Or perhaps the Strawberry Fields salad, a galaxy of baby kale, wild arugula, Coke Farms strawberries, California avocado, house granola, all bathed in a yogurt poppyseed dressing.
But all wonderful gifts of the universe flow like time, and just like that lunch is over. If you enjoyed this session, I also teach The Fundamental Art of Chicken Skins and A Guru’s Guide to Gorgonzola, or feel free to donate.
Where: Good Eats Cafe, 200 Pine St
We ordered: Breakfast burrito, breakfast sandwich
It was good.
Where: Mazarine Coffee, 720 Market St
We ordered: Black tea, cappuccino
Walking down Sansome heading to Market Street. Passing a blur of blue shirts and grey pants. The Blue-Greys are dead inside. Zombies that feed on business not brains. But I’m dead inside too. For I have yet to have my coffee.
My grogginess consumes me. I am nothing more than a blob of eye boogers from the night before.
But just as I was about to give up hope of ever waking up, returning mind to body, the smell of coffee fills my nose, and thus my soul.
Mazarine, is that you? The best coffee shop in the Financial District? With your finely tuned espresso machines. Your perfectly hip baristas. And of course, plenty of seats in a beautifully decorated interior.
Just walking in gives me the jolt needed to awaken enough to realize I’ve been walking alongside Zack this whole time.
We walk up to the floating ears and mouth that takes our order.
A cup of Earl Grey tea for me. A cappuccino for Zack.
Time is an illusion. But we both felt it wrap around us, strangling us, as we waited for our caffeinated beverages.
Just when we were about to give up hope, our names were called from the abyss, and with our names, two cups and salvation.
Where: Muracci’s Japanese Curry, 307 Kearny St
We ordered: Pork Katsu curry, chicken curry soup
We were so hungry we could eat a horse. But our dogs were barking so we didn’t want to go somewhere too far. Not to beat around the bush: we picked Muracci’s Japanese Curry.
Let’s get down to brass tacks: Muracci’s goes the extra mile to always cut the mustard.
When you find this needle in the haystack, you’ll notice it’s so small you’ll be packed in like sardines because this Japanese curry sells like hotcakes.
Don’t jump the gun, if you’re still wet behind the ears, put your nose to the grindstone and look over the menu. If your eyes are bigger than your stomach and you want the full monty, you can even get a “curry pan” (AKA a curry hot pocket).
If you’re between a rock and a hard place, go for the Pork Katsu Curry. It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, make no bones about it. And when you foot the bill, it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, neither. The chicken curry soup is the cream of the crop, too. But don’t bite off more than you can chew, it comes so hot you might kick the bucket and wind up pushing up daisies.
You heard it from the horse’s mouth, Muracci’s is such a great hole in the wall that we don’t mind letting the cat out of the bag (But keep it under your hat).
Elvis has left the building.
Where: Señor Sisig, 300 Pine St
Category: Food truck
We ordered: California Sisig burrito, pork sisig with steamed rice
Just so you know, this is our favorite lunch spot.
Everything on the menu is amazing.
The truck is across the street from the office.
Filipino fusion is what you’ll find here.
Unknown to most, the pork is marinated for three days.
Enjoy it in everything from a burrito to a salad to a rice plate.
Like it hot?
Choose “Spicy” for a heap of diced jalepenos.
Adobo garlic rice is another specialty.
Need a drink?
They have authentic Filipino sodas.
Make the most of your meal and “Silog it” (add a fried egg).
Everyone has their favorite.
Look at what we ordered:
The California Burrito with chicken.
The Sisig with rice with pork.
Expect to be stuffed.
Leave the hour after lunch open because you’ll need a nap.
But it’s well worth the meaty goodness.
Everyone from Guy Fieri to Guy Lemberg loves it.
A word to the wise: expect a line.
Make sure you get there before they leave at 2:30.
Senor Sisig is a San Francisco institution.
Where: The Treasury, 200 Bush St
Category: Happy hour
We ordered: Sazerac, “Standard Oil”
It was another late night at the office. The fog rolled in off the Bay as thick as pea soup, and half as tasty. A stiff wind blew trash down the alleys and side streets, making me long for a drink as stiff as that blustery gust of San Francisco air. C. Penman was my companion for the evening. A big guy, tough guy, with gams for days. Tall as a gorilla with hands as big as plates of spareribs. And twice as greasy. He gave me the signal that he was as thirsty as an eleven-year-old goalie up against an opposing team of rowdy and precocious soccer players—only his cleats weren’t dug in, and he was rearing to go. “Alright, mac,” I told him. “Let’s dust it.”
The Treasury ain’t your average gin mill. It’s more of a high class place that’s lousy with cocktails and other spiritual concoctions. This joint has more juice than punches a heavyweight can take to the kisser. Penman and I slinked up to the counter and tossed the barman some cabbage for a couple of drinks. Like a suntanned cowboy who just shaved his legs for a swim, mine was dark, smooth, and heavy on bourbon. Penman’s was in a rocks glass, served up, with a lone strip of orange peel eyeballing him like a squinting pigeon. We soaked them up and took some air. Nice joint, The Treasury. So long as they keep making drinks right, we’ll be back to make a deposit.
Where: Wayfare Tavern, 558 Sacramento St
Category: Fancier fare
We ordered: The Tavern Burger, Organic Fried Chicken, Baked Macaroni & Cheese, Sunchokes “Patatas Bravas”
Wayfare Tavern is quite the upscale eatery, dressed down to a rather charming British pub-style setting. Reservations are suggested, as the Tavern gets quite busy, and has a rather small dining area. The dimly lit space adds quite a quiet quaintness, but the chatter from bars, both oyster and cocktail, is a rather good reminder that you’re in the heart of the Financial District, and not far off in a Highlands hunting hall.
Despite the interior being quite inspired by taverns across the pond, Wayfare Tavern’s menu is rather American. We ordered the quite venerated fried chicken, the rather tasty sounding Tavern burger, the quite indulgent baked macaroni and cheese, and the one rather European item we selected, the sunchokes “patatas bravas.”
The fried chicken was quite deserving of its accolade as being one of the best in the country. The meat was rather juicy and tender, while the fried exterior was seasoned quite well and not greasy. It is quite a large portion, as they serve what looks rather like an entire fried bird.
The Tavern burger was equally quite delicious. It is topped with the rather rich dressing of melted brie and a fried egg, all situated on a quite buttery and rather flaky brioche bun. The burger itself is quite good—made with a “proprietary grind” of rather high quality beef, and seasoned quite well. The burger is served with fries, fried rather perfectly and salted quite well. It’s a quite heavy, rather decadent, quite delicious, rather scrumptious, quite good order.
The macaroni and cheese is quite a far cry from it’s rather humble origins. Made with smoked olive oil and topped with chives, it’s quite ooey-gooey, and rather cheesy, and quite a good choice to share with a rather hungry dining companion.
The patatas bravas, the quite saucy fried potato dish native to Spain, was a rather good choice to break up all the quite American fare. Served in a quite spicy chorizo aioli, the rather piquant potatoes were quite surprising in how good they were for being a rather simple, quite minimal, side dish.
Wayfare Tavern is quite a nice place to have a rather lovely meal of quite heavy, rather savory, quite filling, rather luscious, quite fragrant, rather tempting, quite tasty food, rather.